Diving Into the Deep
Diving Into the Deep
Diving Into the Deep
“When in Deep Water…”
One of the reasons we chose to spend time in Belize was so I could get my PADI dive certification. The goal? To be able to dive alongside Karl in the future. While I absolutely love the ocean, it also terrifies me. I’m not a strong swimmer, I’ve had a lifelong fear of drowning, and I’ve experienced what felt like two near-death moments while surfing in the past.
The ocean is unpredictable. One moment, it’s calm and inviting. The next, waves are crashing overhead. There’s so much I can’t see or anticipate, and that uncertainty can sweep me away in more ways than one.
I meditate often, with breath as my main focus—but I have never been more aware of my breath than when I was underwater learning to dive. After a full day of practicing skills below the surface, I felt exhilarated. I couldn’t tell if it was relief from simply surviving, the liberation of facing fears head-on, or the sheer miracle of being fully present with my breath. It felt like perseverance, but not the kind driven by stubbornness. This was a softer, more profound form of perseverance—one born from compassion and acceptance for my own humanity.
When in Deep Water…
There were many moments when I wanted to quit. My mind kept returning to “No, this isn’t for me. It’s too risky, too hard, too scary… I can’t.” But I somehow managed to let go of my resistance. I stopped judging myself and allowed my experience to be exactly what it was. In that surrender, I dove deeper—not just into the water, but into myself. I found compassion for the parts of me that fear death, learn slowly, and need extra time to grow. With that compassion came improvement; little by little, I did things underwater I never thought possible.
I’m grateful I didn’t give up on scuba. I overcame some of my ocean fears and discovered the wonder of scuba and snuba diving. Sometimes, the only way out is through—and the only way through is to dive into the deep.
The same is true in relationships. When we can persevere and extend compassion toward our own humanity, we can do the same for others. Our “diving skills” in relationships become more fluid, more effective, and the treasure we discover is a deeper connection.
As Ralph Blum once wrote:
“When in deep water, become a diver.”
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